4 Ways to Stop Gender Dysphoria in Its Tracks

I’m over 12 years into my transition and I still experience gender dysphoria. Now, that’s not to say that gender dysphoria is going to last forever or that it never gets better. It certainly does. Dysphoria for me now is much less of an issue and it’s much less frequent when I’m struggling, but I still struggle sometimes.

There are a lot of long-term solutions that you can do to alleviate dysphoria, like surgeries and hormones—we’re all very well aware of that. But what do you do when you need a solution right now? Today? Yesterday? What do you do? This post is about exactly that. I’m going to be giving you four of my tips to help you stop gender dysphoria in its tracks.

If you’re new here, hi! My name is Victoria Rose. I’m a 27-year-old woman of transgender experience, and I’m the owner and founder of Transgender Zone. We are the world’s first trans-owned, trans-only online learning community where trans folks from around the world can make friends, get live expert guidance, and make serious progress in their transition.

And if you are not new, welcome back. Without further ado, let’s jump into four ways that you can stop gender dysphoria in its tracks.

Tip #1: Have an At-Home Date with Yourself

Starting out strong, tip number one is to have an at-home date with yourself. With yourself, baby! Turn on some affirming media. So for me, that’s like a girly movie. I’ve been rewatching Gilmore Girls, and that’s so healing and feminine. I love it. If you’re a trans man, I don’t know—like The Godfather or whatever guys watch. Turn that on. If you’re non-binary, turn on Lord of the Rings. Validate that non-binary energy.

There is nothing I enjoy more than having a little face mask on, curling up on the couch and turning on Gilmore Girls. Get a little snack. It could be a healthy snack, but let’s be serious—let’s do popcorn. We’re doing popcorn. Get yourself a pizza. Have fun. Do something that makes you feel girly and is just an at-home date for yourself. Treat yourself.

There’s a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely. I love to be alone. I love to do little solo dates so I can just enjoy my own company.

Tip #2: Find Community

But if you are feeling like you need to branch out there—and let’s be honest, most of us do—finding community is my next tip. And I’m not talking about just any old community, although that’s great. You know, having your friends, having your family and people around you to help you through. But having a trans community, being able to talk to other trans people, is a surefire way to alleviate that dysphoria.

For the longest time, this was completely unavailable to me. I did not meet another trans person until I got to college, and even then there was only one other openly trans person on campus. But now on Transgender Zone, we have an influx of people all around the world who are looking to make friends, who are looking to help one another and meet one another, and it’s so fun and so healing.

When I’m feeling down on myself, when I’m feeling my most dysphoric, I look forward to our live sessions. I look forward to going onto our forums and writing about how I feel. When I’m in those live sessions, I’m reminded that the feeling of dysphoria is difficult, but you’re not alone. We’re not the only ones that experience it, and so many other people have experienced it and gone through it and know what it’s like on the other side.

I’m not going to lie—being trans is a very isolating experience. We are 1% of the population, so it’s very hard to meet other trans people in real life. And even when you do, or on the internet, they’re not exactly looking for friends. But when I log on and join one of our live sessions, I always leave feeling better every single time. Being with my trans brothers, sisters, and siblings just brings something out of me and reminds me that we are part of a very beautiful process, that dysphoria is a temporary feeling, but gender euphoria can be very long-lasting.

And you know what? It feels good to help others. When I’m feeling good, I like to go to our live sessions and forums to help other people who might be struggling because it helps me remember the things that I need to hear when I’m in that state of mind.

Tip #3: Make Something with Your Hands

My next tip for fighting dysphoria is going to be to make something. Make something with your hands. I don’t care if it’s art, if you’re painting, if you’re drawing. I don’t care if you feel like you’re not good at drawing—you could be coloring. You could be cooking a meal, baking a cupcake. You could be scrapbooking your transition journey. Whatever it is, making something and doing something with your hands is such an incredible way to take yourself out of your mind and be more in the moment. And then you have a physical thing that you can look at after and be like, “Wow, I made this.”

As a trans femme, creation is very feminine to me because women are the creators of life. And so for me, when I create something, it does help me feel more in tune with my divine feminine. When I was younger, I used to draw literally 24/7, 365. I would be drawing in every single class, I would be drawing at night next to my folks, I would be drawing first thing in the morning. I would pull all-nighters making art, and I did that because I felt so trapped and I needed an outlet to get my feelings out.

Something else I really enjoyed doing was drawing what I wanted to look like because maybe hormones were taking too long or maybe I wasn’t able to come out yet. Being able to draw the manifestation of myself that I saw in my mind was so cathartic and so affirming for me. And guess what? I don’t look too far away from those drawings now.

Tip #4: Bring Yourself Outside of Your Body

Dysphoria buster number four is going to be to bring yourself outside of your body. Do something that gets you out of this prison chamber up here. This could be as simple as just changing your scenery—maybe go to a café or change rooms—but I really encourage you to get up and move your body. This doesn’t mean you have to go to the gym. I mean, it can, especially you trans men out there. Go pump some iron. Do whatever you want to do, but move your body.

Something my mom recommended to me when I was younger was to go for a walk with no headphones in so that you can hear the sounds of the world around you, whether it’s birds, even if it’s construction, people mowing their lawns. It reminds you that people are still out there, the world is still spinning, and that this too shall pass.

A personal favorite of mine is dance. Am I great at dancing? No, but I love to do it. I love to just turn on whatever my favorite songs are at the moment and have a little dance party in my room. You always will feel better. It’s impossible to be angry while you’re just actively dancing and letting it all out. And I feel like dancing is just such a feminine thing because if you learn a dance or you’re just moving your hips in a certain way, it just makes you feel so much more in tune with yourself. And if you’re feeling dysphoric about your body not aligning with how you identify, do it without any mirrors. Using your body and moving it in a feminine way is a great way to feel that feminine or masculine energy inside of you without having to base it off of appearance.

Or go shopping. Go shopping. Go to the aquarium. Go to the zoo. If you know me, there was a period of time when I would go to the aquarium multiple times a week because I was going through it.

Emergency Tip

Here’s a great emergency tip: If you can’t get up and change your environment, you’re not feeling like you want to make art or something, eat a sour candy. The sourness is a great way to draw your attention from in here into a physical sensation. It’s a very interesting life hack that I’ve learned for anxiety and depression, but guess what? It works for dysphoria too.

Final Thoughts

These are only a few tips to help alleviate dysphoria and help promote gender euphoria. If you have any tips or advice, please leave them in the comments. I love to hear from you. Let other people know, and better yet, go on transgender-zone.com and put it there.

So if you’re experiencing dysphoria, first of all, I get it. I’m here with you. I’ve been there and I’ve made it through to the other side. I need you to remember that you are not alone in this experience, and I need you to remember that this too will pass. I mean, look at me—I’m 12, 13 years into my transition and I still experience dysphoria from time to time. It’s gotten so much better, but it’s still there. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong or that you’re not where you’re supposed to be yet.

If you have any questions or you want some advice, I host office hours every single Tuesday over on Transgender Zone, so you can go there, join me, and ask any questions. I’m here for you.

I hope you all enjoyed this post. I really enjoyed creating this content, and it’s only going to get better from here. So if you have any comments or suggestions, let me know. And until I see you next time, take care of yourself and I’ll see you in the community.